rebekah

True best friends isn't being inseparable, it's being separated and NOTHING CHANGES.

 "christian, did you hear what she just said?? she really is perfect for you!"
see even cameron knows. i'm happy with my grumpy grampa sleeping dreadhead : )
i like sitting at his apt playing donkey kong and laughing for hours.
i like smoking on the beach with him.
i like how i can be myself around him.
i like how i can confide in him.
i like how he understands.
i like how he kisses.
i like how i always know he's thinking about me (even when he's skating).
i like how i wake up to sweet texts that ar 4 paragraphs long.
i like how he can tell me anything.
i like how he's not afraid to cry infront of me.
i like how everything tickles him.
i like how he cooks his omlettes.
i like how he kisses me when i wake up.
i like how we do everything the same way.
i like how we always have fun together.
i like helping him dread his hair.
i like listening to him.
i like jamming with him.
i just like being with him, even when we have nothing to do.


i've been doing a lot of thought about what i want lately and how to achieve my goals. some people might look down on how i want to achieve them, but im just different. i do things my own way, not the routine way. i'm openminded and i wish more people were. i wish people stopped believing and following everything they're told. i wish people took the chance to think for themselves. i think we'd all be happier that way. i think my parents are starting to understand it better too. my mom knows i've had so much trouble in my life and how its affected me. she understands. she knows im not one to care about what the traditional society thinks and that the only way i'm really going to be completely excited about something is if i research it for myself. if i reach a decision, it's for a damn good reason. she knows im only going to try 110% if my hearts set on it. i know what's better for myself and my happiness. i'd rather make my own mistakes. i'm glad i have chelsea to do this with me.

also, memories of jesse have been jumping out at me lately. i can't describe it any other way. it's like he's trying to show me something, and i think i know what that is. it's teaching me and it's helping me grow.
before, i just coped with his death by detatching myself from it. i'm really trying to accept and face it now. for a while, i even thought it was my fault, like i could've stopped it, and that killed me. i know now that that's not true. everything happens for a reason and the reasons aren't always in plain view. 

wildsplash was pretty crazy, smoking blunts to the dome on the highway, but then again i always do that. like when im coming home form international looking for cows to steal. it feels like go cart racing and i probably scare the shit out of everyone in the car. anyway, we watched people have sex in the car infront of us. we danced all night. taylor and korey are back to being lovers. jordan is psycho. pitbull is raw. trina is hotttttt but probably got hypothermia from that tiny dress that kept blowing up. im the only one who knows beenie man's songs haha. it was freeeeezing! the only thing missing was emily, but i asked off work before her. sorry boo!

Work is going pretty well, rib city is the best. seriously, my manager actually cares, and the other manager (who she's married to) is so harsh but so funny. it's like we're their kids. i love it. i got a raise and i'm head hostess now. plus, almost everyone at work smokes? it's pretty sweeeeeet.

i really want a puppy, a shiba inu. maybe not yet, but within the next yr. they're so cute and they can run with me!

i don't care if this means anything to you, but i know it will to a few.
this picture hits me hard everytime. this is jesse deep down.
i can hear all our serious talks just by looking at this picture.
i can see all his true feelings. i know he looks sad, but it's not that.
it's like he's looking into your eyes.
god, i miss him.

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